Lately

I am actually tidy, like finicky type tidy,

Which is a complete contrast to who I was growing up, but I like it

Lately,

I don’t enjoying writing and reading, or art generally as much as I use to

I prefer “school” books, to put it mildly.

The truth is I have fallen madly in love with school books.

Lately

I have no desire to go overseas, travel or see the world,

If it were up to me I wouldn’t leave my room, well maybe let’s say I wouldn’t leave my house.

And I’m not just saying this.

I would not feel like I lost anything at all if I never left my town till they plant me.

I often find myself now completely detached from my phone, from the internet, desperately wanting nothing to do with it.

Leaving it at home intentionally, forgetting it in all the wrong places.

Funny.

I now enjoy real life conversation with people that I like, the social awkwardness comes when I can’t connect with a person and it seems even in those times,

I can often navigate the dialogue to make the situation comfortable enough for us both to realise we are not meant for each other.

So we move on quickly.

Lately,

I find indescribable genuine joy in church and God stuff. Like not the way we hope to find joy in church every time we go there but are really just frustrated

But

For real

Every time I go to church now, I am happy, refreshed… It’s difficult to explain… Almost like I’m different each time.

Lately,

I love every inch of my body. And I mean even single inch fills me with awe and appreciation and sheer, uncomplicated delight.

I wouldn’t change a thing.

I don’t know how I got here.

Lately,

There’s much I haven’t figured out but that’s just life

I’m trying not to worry about it.

I cry less, I’m starting to get over you.

Starting to have renewed hope in the future.

Starting to just relax.

Lately,

I am learning to live like one who knows from the beginning, that the end is beautiful and glorious

And so worth the journey

And also not worth complaining or wailing.

I have skipped to the last minute of my life’s movie and there

I am smiling a smile as bright as the sun

The tears along the way don’t compare.

I am smiling a smile as bright as the sun.

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Essence

What’s bride without veil, king without crown, eyes without sight

What’s morning without bright, love without sacrifice, tomorrow without hope

What’s beauty without acceptance, joy without an uprising, volcano without lava

What’s laughter without sound, play without colour, sky without blue

What’s me without you?

2017, the profound.

I’ve been procrastinating and even considering not writing this review at all. The first reason being writing about personal experiences is not something I find particularly appealing aside it being hard to articulate my feelings aptly. Two, this year was a lot. Like a roller-coaster that has no end. In all, I guess I can say it was a good one, but even more than that, 2017 was profound. I will never forget this year. I am not the same.

I don’t remember setting any goals, I know I really wanted to get back to school but asides that I was sorta okay. I did some pretty amazing stuff this year. I wrote a book. I started an initiative. I tutored kids for free during the summer. I launched a magazine. I wrote about 10 stories or more, I wrote well over fifty poems, I read a little over 30 books. I won a giveaway and got one of my favourite books everrrr (thanks Timi!) I kinda got a hang of Twitter. I grew up this year. Like a lot. I don’t even know how to explain. I didn’t really plan for most of it. It just happened. God just so blessed me. So perhaps I tricked you, maybe this isn’t a review at all, maybe it’s just a thank you note to God because I can’t even hide it, I am overwhelmed.

Lord Jesus, thank you for life, thank you for my family. Thank you that when we were attacked by thieves in the middle of the night you kept us from harm. Thank you because everything that was lost was recovered. Thank you for keeping your promises, thank you for being faithful. Thank you for healing my heart completely this year. I’ve been carrying around a lot of baggage for a while now, thank you for taking the load off me. Thank you for being mine when I thought I didn’t have anyone, for staying close always. Thank you for the breaking of chains and additions. Thank you for the emergence and grooming of a new woman, a powerful woman you said. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for all the great sermons and books and music and articles. I was well-fed this year. Thank you for friendships. Thank you for Jerry, I really don’t know what I would have done without him sometimes, don’t know where I would be with my endless thought spirals. I pray that in his darkest days you will shine bright for him as he has shone for me, you will bring him home, into the warmth of yourself. Thank you for tm, for a rare companionship, a vulnerability I did not think possible with a girl, thank you for Seun, Susan, Victor, Tamilore, Peace, Dammy, Mayokun, Nick and many others that have blessed me, so many names, so many pillars. Bless them lord, let their lives continue to shine bright. Thank you for the future you have set before me, I can barely stand still from excitement. I love us. I love where we are now. Keep me close, keep me steady, keep me safe. Thank you God for you, thank you for dying. I am still blown away by the fact that I am righteous, that I won’t die, that I am your child. Ah! As I type these words, the hair on my legs are standing. Thanks for the revelation of you. Thank you for all the things you’ve been teaching me, haha, I don’t even know how to say it. Lord you can see the content of my heart, the things I cannot find words to express, you can tell. Thank you for those things. I love you, I know it’s nothing compared to the waves for you own love, but I want you to know all the same that I love you. That I will never leave. That you have been too good for me to turn my back. I no longer know what it is to live without talking to you every minute and listen for your replies. You make my heart sing. I am so happy. Thank you for that too, thank you for this persistent joy, thank you! It’s amazing. You are amazing. Thank you for 2017 lord. Thank you. I love doing life with you, the year doesn’t even count. It’s all about you and because of you I am confident for not only a phenomenal 2018 but a fantastic life. Thank you for that, thank you for the assurance of your love. It’s me and you forverrrrr. Glory!

Compliments of the season guys. Maybe your year didn’t go great, don’t lose hope. it really does get better. Trust God, he is not one to disappoint.

Just in case you haven’t heard the January Edition of Elevate magazine will be out January 5th 2018. Awesome stuff!

PS: big thank you to everyone that liked my story on Instagram, the winner hasn’t been announced yet. I really appreciate the goodness of y’alls hearts ❤

Please Help Me Win This Flash Fiction Contest!

Guys! I got shortlisted for the FarabaleAfrica flash fiction contest! I am so excited but I still need your likes and comments to take the prize home. Voting ends by 7:00pm on Sunday. This really means a lot to me guys cause there’s a chance for a publishing deal, that would be such a blessing to me, so please, pretty pretty please like and comment on my story and if you may, please share as well. God bless you! Thank you!

http://www.instagram.com/p/Bcud_eol8OL/

Choosing Your Battles

Hi guys! Today I want to quickly examine the art of choosing your battles as we draw closer to the end of the year and the beginning of a new one. I am sure you are already writing down your goals and plans. There’s no need to put up a front, I would be lying if I say I don’t love new beginnings too, that I don’t take a special liking to the thought of a new chapter unfolding. We all do and there’s nothing wrong with that.

So earlier in the year, I read a book called Die Empty, you’ve probably read my review and there’s a chapter in there that’s titled choosing your battles. It didn’t really occur to me then, until very recently that there’s more to choosing what you choose to fight for and what you are willing to let go.

Someone, I cannot remember who right now, said we can do anything but we cannot do everything. We as human beings are not capable of everything single thing we imagine doing because we have limitations that are quite a part of who we are. And this limitations shouldn’t be seen as limitations, they shouldn’t be seen as hindrances because could you imagine what it would be like if everybody was doing everything, there would be no diversity and therein beauty that we have all come to enjoy. Instead we should see limitations are road signs pointing towards the places where we are truly needed and where we will excel. 

I hate hate. I hate the salve trade. I also hate that some people are still dying of malaria. I also hate that Trump is encouraging further hostility towards vulnerable groups but I can’t help with all of that. I hate it all, but I can’t help it all in my lifetime. What I can help with is malaria because I am a medical student. I have chosen certain battles by choosing my career path. 

What would be disastrous is a human being that is trying to do everything. Like I mentioned in another post, focus increases the quality of your work. If you choose too many battles, you might and mostly likely will loss them all. Look at Jesus, he had just one goal; to die for humanity and that was that. Choose your battles, no every battle is yours to fight.

 

Short Story: Mama Tayo

The thundering and splattering of the noise baptized her in a familiar fear. The women held themselves as they saw the thick black circle of smoke rise from the village square miles away. 

She made the sign of the cross and clutched the white beaded crucifix hanging from her neck. She knew what it was; it was the people of Okoko land, a neighbouring village, waging war against them for the death of their prince. 

The two royal families used to be inseparable friends that visited each other often. Especially the princes, Kolade and Falani. They were closer friends than green on leaves. It so happened that Falani, the prince of Okuku land, came visiting his friend on a chill friday morning and his lifeless body was returned home. 

The story had been told that the queen had prepared a meal for them and Falani after a few hours started to cough and gasp desperately for his very life. In less than an hour, he was dead. Everyone was in grieving shock as songs of woo were chanted by the town crier as he led the way to the deceased’s home. 

King Faderanti did not take the news of his only son’s death well, this was evident in the dead bodies that were returned to Prince Kolade the next day and the successive killings and burning of homes that has been occurring since then. 

It has been three weeks of constant brutal attacks; hundreds of men and women have been killed. The royal family had gone into hiding and now the people were left to fend for themselves. 

Mama Tayo had lost her husband and the last of five sons to one of the fires and she was now the sole breadwinner of her family. It is unbelievable how fast things change.

The few of the women that still found themselves alive had agreed to clear a new piece of land farther than usual from the village so that their new source of food and livelihood would be speared. It was here that Mama Tayo found herself this evening when the monstrous explosion coloured the skies in colours of pain and doom. It would take more than two hours for her to return to her home just by the village’s border. She had warned the children to stay inside. She had locked them in their small bungalow and taken the keys with her. 

She quickly dropped her hoe and climbed on her already worn out bicycle, heading for the village, paddling hard. All the while praying for the safety of her children. 

Her gratitude knew no boundaries when she saw that the yellow bulb in their veranda still shone like a lighthouse on a stormy night. And as she came closer to see Sibi, their family dog, wagging his tailing in welcoming of her, she knew that all was well but there was no promise of tomorrow and they must soon come to bid this place they call home goodbye.

PS: this story is practice for the @farabaleafrica contest I want to enter this week. Wish me luck. Lol. Money is involved. 

Photo: @farabaleafrica